Disclaimer: This article is only intended for educational purposes and shouldn’t be used as a substitute for legal advice.
Knowing that your friend is in an abusive relationship can be difficult. You might not even know how to help them initially, but one should not lose hope. The main problem in handling such a situation is that you always risk losing your friend. However, if your initiative can lead you to lose a friend but saves them from a monster, it might become bearable for you.
Abuse does not always have to be physical; you can easily guess from your friend’s conversation about their partner if they are in an emotionally abusive relationship or not. Before they completely lose themselves in pleasing their partner, you need to step up and save your friend from the struggle.
Here are a few ways to help you save your friend from dealing with an abusive partner.
Mention that You’re Always There For Them
Your friend might be afraid to share their feelings with anyone, but if you have already guessed what they are going through, the best thing is to be supportive. Subtly mentioning that you’re always there for them or how they can rely on you is the best way to give them a helping hand.
It clearly shows that your intentions are only pure towards them. It will make them see you as a non-judgmental ally they can trust in a difficult situation. So, keep inviting them and show up for them whenever they need support.
Ask Them How They Feel about Abusive Treatment
The abuser’s finest quality is that they can easily devalue the other person in their own eyes, and that’s where the real problem begins.
This kind of feeling conditions the other person to believe that this is what they are worth. It leads to suppressing their true emotions, but it’s your job to make your friend feel them. Ask your friend how they feel when their abusive ones treat them like this, and they might let their inner voice speak.
You can act as a guide for them to make them listen to their inner voice and take charge when there is still a chance.
Acknowledge Their Struggle & Thank Them for Sharing
It’s very hard to talk about abuse, so acknowledge and thank your friend for trusting you with this information. If they have finally started to share their feelings about their relationship, then it can be a start to a transformation. Making them feel unheard in the starting can cause them to stop sharing their emotions altogether. It’s essential to keep their feelings in mind before you say anything.
Start a Light-Hearted Conversation With Them
You can sit with your friend in a one-on-one private setting and start a conversation with them on a positive note. Remind them of their qualities and make them realize that you miss going out with them. Give positive affirmations to your friend and make them feel comfortable around you.
Once you have set the environment, you can start sharing your concern with them. You need to talk openly with them to make sure that there is no stone unturned. The best way to be with them is by offering them unconditional support. Be sure to help them so next time when they are in a difficult situation, they can trust you with all the details.
Make Them Focus on Unhealthy Behaviors
Don’t be so fast in labelling the relationship as ‘abusive.’ Rather, focus on the unhealthy behaviours to make your friend see the reality. If you directly label the relationship, then your friend might simply shut down or never discuss it with you again.
Try to pinpoint specific behaviour of their partners to make them realize that it’s not an ideal way to treat one’s partner. Tell them how you would feel if this was happening to you or what you should have done. It’s the first step to make your friend understand or acknowledge their feelings or clearly see the situation.
Do Not Preach
You can lose your friend by preaching to them what to do and what not to do. They are sensible enough to decide for themselves. It’s only that constant abusive behaviour has made them unable to see their true self, but it can get better with a friend’s help.
Make sure you’re available for your friend and do not judge their situation. Share your experiences and give them hope that they can come out of this toxicity. Your focus should be your friend’s happiness, so make sure you’re only making them see the picture rather than telling them what to do next.
Never Blame Your Friend
Blaming the victim is the worst thing you can do as a friend. Do not tell them that everything is normal and that they are feeling too much. It’s not their fault that their partner is abusive, so don’t make them feel that they should change themselves. Assure them that they are doing their best and make them see that an abuser can never change. Any kind of abuse should not be tolerated, so you must discourage your friend from bearing such behaviour.
Get Rid of Abuse by Taking a Divorce
If you’re tired of your partner’s toxic and abusive behaviour, then the best thing is to file for a divorce. Nanda & Associate Lawyers is a team of exceptional lawyers who can help you finalize your divorce. They hold years of experience in the field and can guide you through all the steps as well.
They are also one of the best Canadian immigration consultants who have helped hundreds of people in getting PR, student visas, etc., in less time. You can book your appointment with one of their lawyer or simply call them to get more details.
